


15x01 Coda

by Piper_Halliwell1979



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Arguing, Coda, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Past Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester is So Done, Season/Series 15, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 11:10:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21073931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Halliwell1979/pseuds/Piper_Halliwell1979
Summary: Sam has enough of Dean and Castiel's bickering and calls them out. Each of them grieves and copes in a different way. And the sassy demon Belphegor likes to run commentary





	15x01 Coda

What should have been a normal exchange about perimeter checks and supply runs had devolved into yet another yelling match between Dean and Castiel. Belphegor stood idly by wearing a smirk of amusement but Sam...Sam was done. He grabbed the both of them by their elbows and dragged them from the street towards the house he’d just cleared.

“What the hell, Sammy?” Dean shrugged off his hold.

“This...has got...to stop,” he ran his hands through his hair. “We’ve got issues of..of.. _ biblical _ proportions and you two assholes are having a pissing contest in the middle of the street! I don’t care if you sit here and talk it out or...or fuck it out but get your heads back in the game or we’re gonna lose a town full of people.”

He stormed away before Dean could stammer a weak retort or excuse. Sam roughly jerked his head to signal that the demon riding Jack needed to follow. They resumed the door to door sweep of the street leaving Dean and Cas behind.

Castiel leaned back against the porch rail while Dean sank down to sit on the steps. “The sex was never our problem,” the angel lamented.

Dean smirked without looking his way, “Yeah...that part we were pretty good at.” The tension didn’t leave his shoulders.

“I accept the same amount of blame as you and Sam for what Jack did. I mourn Mary. I mourn Jack. I’m not okay and I need you to accept that. I need you to understand...that I’m not you. I don’t have...compartments. I’m trying to help these people. I  _ want _ to help these people. What I need...is to not feel alone.”

Dean nodded curtly. “Half our family got wiped out, Cas. But we don’t get... _ bereavement leave,”  _ he gestured in the air. “We got a job to do and there’s gonna be another one after and...we stow it till we get enough downtime.”

“And when we do? Am I on my own then? Should I attempt to drown my emotions in a bottle then go have some meaningless fling?”

That pushed Dean’s buttons. “The hell is that supposed to mean? You’ve been acting like a jilted wife, man!”

“Maybe because I dared think after all this time I meant something to you. Something you couldn’t look in the eye and say was dead to you.”

“You think...you are so full of shit! When you died? I died too! Ask Sam. I actually  _ was _ dead a few hours before you came back. Didn’t plan on coming back either. So why don’t you try that again?” Dean challenged.

“Okay...why did you cut me off when I told you I loved you?”

“Dammit, Cas! Because what we had worked! Blowing off some steam. A little comfort. We weren’t supposed to catch feelings. We weren’t supposed to be a  _ thing.”  _ The hunter scrubbed his face in frustration.

“We?”

“You know what I mean.”

“No I don’t. What is so wrong about loving each other?”

Dean physically turned away from him. “Because...look what happens to people I love. They get dead. If I didn’t...if I didn’t love Jack I’d have pulled the trigger. Then Chuck wouldn’t have had his pissy fit and undone everything we did. I’d be gone and you and Sam would keep up the family business. Maybe quit and settled down with people who ain’t weighing ‘em down.”

Castiel’s chest tightened and he knelt down behind Dean. “You never weighed me down. Dean...you freed me. And Sam has made his choice time and again. Can’t you see that we both chose this life? We chose it because you had the heart to keep saving people.”

“All I’m hearing is I’m the reason your lives are this fucked up.”

“Then you’re a dumbass!” Cas actually chuckled. “According to Heaven I was already a fuckup and disappointment. Now I’m a Winchester. Which is arguably similar in their view…”

“Stop...not supposed to be making me feel better here.”

“Dean...the further we drift apart, all three of us, the harder it’s going to be to save anyone. Let me grieve, please. And then I’ll be there when you let yourself grieve. We can both be there for Sam because he’s spent all his time dealing with us.”

“Yeah…”

Castiel sat with him for a bit in silence that wasn’t uncomfortable for once. The tension was still there but down a few notches. 

***

"So what's their deal? You know... _ Die Hard  _ and  _ Columbo?"  _ Belphegor asked Sam as he contemplated looting a couple small items.

"Not my place to discuss," Sam avoided answering while checking a closet.

"I asked Dean who this guy was, you know...my ride? He said  _ our kid.  _ I mean...you two are brothers so that leaves the angel...just asking if what's written on the bathroom walls is true."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Look...I only brought you along so they could have a couple minutes. Not to...gossip," he scrunched his nose.

Belphegor pocketed some loose change he found and shrugged. "They shared a son. They lost a son. That kind of thing usually drives a couple to get a divorce. And the way they've been fighting…wow. You're stuck right in the middle of that shitstorm. In the middle of  _ this _ shitstorm."

Sam set his gun on the kitchen table and took a moment to compose himself. "Jack was all of ours. The three of us were his fathers and I'm doing my damnedest to keep from giving Cas the greenlight to run you through. Seeing him and hearing you? Twisting a knife in my heart. So don't expect me to stand in your corner any longer than necessary."

"Ouch," Belphegor mock recoiled. "I'll ditch the body when I find another ride. And for what it's worth, I kinda root for them. Angel falls from Heaven and a soul rises from Hell. Epic. Poetic."

"And completely irrelevant to saving a town full of people from the Ghosts of Murderers Past. That spell you did was just a bandaid. A temporary fix." Sam stonewalled the demon again.

"I thought the King of Hell would be more diplomatic," the demon goaded. "It's a big part of the infrastructure, you know. Healthy competition between crossroads demons, driving sales, settling turf wars. You got two hotheads trying to out- _ hero _ each other, practically pissing on mailboxes to mark territory, and selling a bunch of yokels hope."

"You're a 'punch the clock' guy, right? This is me, punching a clock. I have a job to do. So do something useful or...you're fired." Sam picked up his shotgun and left the demon behind to clear the garage. 

"Everybody's so...touchy," Belphegor said to the empty room.

***

Sam checked in with Cas after a thankfully quiet ride back to the high school. "Anything...better?"

Cas gave a mirthless smile. "We didn't yell again after you left."

Sam patted his shoulder. "That's something, right? Look, you guys...you always find a way. You're just...usually the ones  _ in _ the way. I get it, man. We  _ all _ lost Jack. We all got screwed by Chuck. But we're better than this. The petty bickering and the silent treatment...there's a time and place for it and it isn't here. We're gonna deal with it. We'll get Belphegor out of...of Jack. Honor him the way we should."

Castiel nodded. "We've never been fathers before, you and I. What we feel...it's unfathomable and overwhelming. Dean knows this loss. He has chambers already to cope. I wasn't...understanding."

Sam flinched a little with guilt. He'd caused one of those losses. "Yeah. That uh..it's a step in the right direction. Understanding. So you guys call a truce?"

"Of sorts. Thank you, Sam. I'm sorry for you being in the middle of this."

"Cas...how many times do I have to tell you? You're my brother, too. Being in the middle sucks, alright? You've had to broker the peace between me and Dean a couple times too. Dean would jump in if me and you got into it. Just means we're family."

It was Castiel's turn to shift his gaze in guilt. "Dean and I…"

Sam cut him off. "I know, Cas. I figured out the 'profound bond.' Whatever it is or isn't doesn't change who you are to me."

"Again, thank you. And whether that damage can be repaired...you are my brother, Sam."

They stood together and watched Dean crouch down to talk to a couple kids. Both the pain and smile on his face was genuine and heartbreaking.

  
  
  



End file.
